Death of a Stranger

It has recently come to my attention that the man who was responsible for providing the necessary means to give me life does not have much longer to live. I have not spoken to this man or had any kind of relationship with him for more than 25 years, yet he felt compelled to call the man I call Dad and tell him of his upcoming fate. I think he was hoping my Dad would pass the message along (which he did) and I would feel the need to contact him and finally forgive him before he dies.

I find it extremely difficult to find compassion for a dying stranger who chose to be estranged from his children for so many years. I do not believe seeing him one last time before he dies will benefit me in any way, but as the person who my mother raised me to be, do I want to give him the closure he is looking for?

After much soul searching (okay maybe much is really stretching it), I have decided not to contact him. He has been absent from my life for so long now that he has become a fading memory and not a pleasant one. He has had to live with the choices he made in this lifetime, and will have to live with them in death as well. I have no ill feelings for him, in fact, I have no feelings for him at all. I am thankful for my life and that of my brother as well as the Mother who raised me and the man who will always be my one and only Dad!

Make good choices in life!

Running with Butterflies

Running is like life, you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other in order to keep moving forward. I love getting outside to run, and on a recent trip to Lake of the Ozarks, I decided to get up early even though it was very hot and humid. The weather didn't matter because it was quiet and the area was beautiful.  I usually run alone with my thoughts, but on this run I would be joined by a very small running partner. A Black Swallowtail butterfly. One would fly near me for awhile and then disappear into the trees. Several steps later, I would be joined by another one. All I thought about while running is how peaceful I felt and how amazing it was to have a butterfly flying with me. I didn't think about anything or anyone else, but how lucky I was to be at the Lake with my family. Most people run with a friend, or even a family pet, not usually with a small, silent partner.

Towards the end of my run it started to rain but I didn't care about getting wet because I could say "I ran with butterflies."

It was truly peaceful morning and a run I will never forget.